The AP Test Meets the Thinker


Jessica Nugiel

She’s starting now. Open me. Read me Bubble, bubble, bubble. Keep bubbling. You bubbled too lightly, Imbecile; go back, back, back.

What is ‘being?’ Being isn’t definitive and only defined by physical matter and consciousness, not life or death. Being is eternal for matter is neither created nor destroyed, simply transformed. Being, matter, is continuously flushed in and about the cosmos until the genesis of consciousness is birthed by physical form. The particles of Being have existed long before consciousness. The particles of Us have been established since the construction of the Universe. We made up the Universe whereas the Universe made up Us. We gave rise to ourselves for the purpose of Being and being conscious.

Now you’re just wasting time. You’ve lost twenty minutes and you’re still on the first prompt with three unanswered questions. You’ll fail at this rate. This is still a test and you’re nothing without it. Bubble, bubble, bubble. Don’t forget to bubble. Are you conserving your time? Don’t forget to bubble things in you unsurprisingly don’t know. Bubble. Fifteen meager minutes left in this session. Bubble. You are going to fail.

What is the purpose of Being? If we are expressions of the Universal consciousness then from nothing we wanted everything. Since the beginning We strove to happen. We craved love, lust, resentment, sorrow, fear, disgust, happiness, and thrill. We began as cosmic chemicals that battled and warped in and out of each other as a globular cluster until we developed the first unit of Being. She was singular; one and one became many. Many became photosynthetic organisms until we grew legs and noses and eyes and thumbs. Until we became We.

Bubble. Stop wasting your time. Bubble. Don’t forget to bubble. Ten minutes left. Bubble. Read. Bubble. Stop. Don’t waste your time like this. Stop wasting time. Did you remember to bubble? You never listen to me. This is why you waste time. You could be filling in an answer or two you forgot to bubble in right now. You can barely read. You’re about to face the belly of the beast, the make it or break it of your speck of a life.

But why do we Be?’ Our end since the beginning was to experience and to feel. We were meant to wear our hearts on our sleeves and to experience the good, the bad, and the evil perceived by the individual consciousness. ‘Tis only our consciousness that is restricted by the confines of time, but We are technically forever. Only when our physical matter is recycled back into Totality has our consciousness exhausted its time and it integrates itself back into the Universal consciousness taking on the form of a personal subconscious for our physical state. But we do this to accommodate other beings, for other consciences to Be, until it is our time for our consciousness to Be again.

Stop lollygagging. Write. Write you bubbling baboon. Stop. Write for real now. Write your subpar thesis. Gather your evidence. Write. Stop polishing this piece. Don’t waste your time. Write. Move onto prompt B. Plan. Scribble that out. Fool, you’ve smudged the ink. There must not be a single good thought in that mind of yours with the way you’re writing right now. Do you even want to be here you dunce?

Don’t test me.